One thing that keeps coming back to me is how little we know, yet ironically the thirst for knowledge drives our species on. Has this quest cost us something? I have felt for a long time that knowing God is more important than knowledge about God, but the more I get to know God the more I realise how little I know. Perhaps the realisation that I cannot change myself moves me a step closer in knowing God and knowing about God.
If I am to finally change then it’s time to realise God knows best and it’s all on His terms. He sees differently to me. And no matter how I am feeling about myself; He is constant, He is unchanging, He is unrelenting, and He is waiting. Waiting for me to realise that He will change me in the way He sees best and that the changes He makes will not be to earn His favour but will be for my benefit. To become changeable I first need to turn to Him.
Isaiah 55: 8-9 ‘”For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,” declares the LORD. “As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.”‘
Could it be that by placing so much emphasis on changing myself I have inadvertently made change an idol? Further, could it be that when I return God to His rightful place in my life that change will no longer be a problem? It’s got to be worth a try.